Fools Forgetting Failures

Wow, what a month – where to begin? The leadup to and fallout after the election was insane. Obviously, I’m thankful that Biden won out in the end, but it’s very foreboding to me 1) how close the election was after everything Trump has done and 2) how quickly “progressives” have suddenly done a 180 and are acting like everything’s going to be okay now. “Uh, you guys saw how close the election was, right?” The people who have been celebrating the last 4 years of regression and chaos aren’t suddenly gone. They are a significant portion of the population, and they will obviously continue down the path Trump laid out for them.

Practicing Positivity

The App Center finally brought on two new developers. Both are very green, and I haven’t had the chance to work with them yet, but I’m trying to focus on the positives: I get to work with other developers like I had been told I would be doing since I joined the App Center over a year ago.

Downers

I did not get the Toptal or Rural Sourcing positions. The response from Rural Sourcing wasn’t surprising considering how much I froze up during that interview, but I was very disappointed in my performance during the technical with Toptal. Toptal is understandably very secretive about their interview process, so I can’t talk too much about it, but I actually noticed something when reading over the problem statement that immediately stuck out to me, but I dismissed it because I didn’t think that’s what the interview was about. In retrospect, it’s not like it would have hurt to discuss it with the interviewer; at worst he could’ve told me that he couldn’t give feedback – at best I wouldn’t have been working with the stupid assumption that cost me the interview.

This is my first birthday alone. Birthdays are not something I generally appreciate – it’s a bizarre archaic tradition in my view, but it did really drive home how lonely I’ve been after separating from my biological family. I was already effectively alone considering how little they understood me, but they did at least provide a sense of connection to the world. Despite that I’m distinctly happier than I’ve ever been, but today has been hard.